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drunk dial

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:02 am
by sitkakoala
1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false
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2.It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don't
remember it, it didn't happen.

3.Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn't
want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M.
asking to bend them over something.

4.Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their
friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come.

5.Drunk texting is alright... If you are prepared to read what you
wrote the next day when you are sober.

6.If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you.
Be happy they thought of you in this special time.

7.It is always a good idea to sing on someone's answering machine
or voicemail. Especially a show tune.

8.Drunk dialing should be fun and light hearted or dirty and sex
crazed... Never angry.

9.If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason.
Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it.

10.Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone
books is bad and usually leads to angry dialing.

11.If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a
reason. Never borrow a friend's phone to do your dialing.

12.When dialing remember that "hanging out" at 3 in the A.M.
usually doesn't involve cards, it's probably going to be more
like cheap lube and handcuffs. So be prepared when you really
do want to play X-box when your drunk..... "you want me to do
what with your box? Play with it?"

13.Never, I repeat, never drunk dial your boss, preacher, grandpa,
or friend's parents. If you are that hard up to call someone,
there is an 800 number on MILLER LITE boxes. The person on the
other line always sounds cute, plus I think they are used to drunk
dialers.

I need to add one here...

14. It is acceptable, however, to trade phones with your drunken friend and call each other's friends. They appreciate the surprise.