Darwin Awards

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Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2008 9:18 am

Darwin Awards

Post by depell » Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:03 am

Here is the glorious 2009 winner:

1. When his .38 calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a
hold-up in Provo, Utah would-be robber Jason Ellison did something that can
only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.. This
time it worked.

And now, the honourable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for
himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to
Bulawayo had escaped... Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went
to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then
delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception
wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5.. A teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received
from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told
police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a
moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun
and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.
The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the
counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone
points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.
The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking
him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event
was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a South Carolina convenience store, a man grabbed
her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to
give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store.
The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive
ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the
purse from."

9.. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The
clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without
a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on an
Atlanta street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the
scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled
sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal
gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by
mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was
the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and
family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant
relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope
they remain lost.


They walk among us

Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2010 10:12 am

Re: Darwin Awards

Post by dorz » Thu Jul 15, 2010 6:54 pm

:lol: tnx 4 da laughs!

Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2009 6:11 pm

Re: Darwin Awards

Post by howletrc » Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:35 pm

Technically it is not a Darwin award if the idiot lives!!

Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:39 am

Re: Darwin Awards

Post by wadejlong » Tue Jul 03, 2012 4:51 pm

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